The ad shows a small, sleek, black box. An effortless connection. A dude doing All The Things on his sexy laptop and on his phone or tablet.
What I have thus far is:
- A small sleek black box that cuts out intermittently
- a separate fugly white box with lots of flashing lights that has to be connected to it, which is in no way shown in the ad.
The two, despite being joined, have to be as far apart from one another as the cabling will allow, if you want them to actually work. So they’re strewn across my bedroom floor, providing a fantastic trip hazard for a poorly sighted disabled woman.
It still doesn’t work.
According to the BT helpdesk staff I have spoken to thus far – the most recent of which called me solely by my surname, talked over me and shouted, which was pretty special – the problem is:
- I have a telephone
- I have a cordless telephone
- I have a corded telephone plugged into the BT telephone socket
- I have walls
- I have windows (I am not making this shit up)
- I have some other electrical devices in my home
- My computer, telephone and tablet should, at all times, be attached to my BT Infinity wireless hub with an ethernet cable
Yes. You heard that right. If you want a reliable wireless signal on BT Infinity, you should at all times be plugged into the hub on an ethernet cable. Otherwise they can’t guarantee a connection. Obviously your silly newfangled phone and tablet will not be able to achieve this, what with not being ethernet compatible, but we’re all running Windows NT on a tower and nobody has a mobile phone yet, so that isn’t a problem, right? RIGHT?
The history of this is that I had a problem with intermittent cut-outs on my broadband for about a month on an old BT Hub 2.0 with its own cordless hubphone. Then I upgraded to Fibre-optic Infinity to solve this problem. Which I was told would work with those phones. It didn’t, so I had to buy a new phone. The new phone would not get a ringer signal from the new BT Infinity phone socket (even with an ADSL splitter, which it is not supposed to need, or with an alternate ring capacitor). So I had to buy a new-new phone which was actually getting enough of a signal from the socket to ring when someone, yanno, RINGS. (OK, it’s only ever my mum, but my mum is important.) However, I now know that plugging a telephone into the phone socket that comes with a BT Infinity package is a no-no if you want your BT Infinity to do anything other than illuminate part of your house with a variety of flashing coloured lights.
At this point BT Infinity is basically the world’s worst Christmas ornament.