Phenomenoo!

It is merely half past ten in the morning and already I have showered, washed my hair, done the outside watering, done the washing up, cleaned the kitchen floor and breakfasted LIKE A KING on apples and milk.

I am now going to spend a little while with paper and pencil, trying to finalise the design of my back garden. Discussions with the builders have turned it from a simple “re-clad the existing patio” to “put new patio footings down, because the existing ones are shit and the whole thing will sink again if I half do the job”. I didn’t want that to be the case, but it is the case and in some ways this frees me up to be a bit more creative with what I want to achieve.

I’ve decided that I will have the world’s tiniest shed put in, in the darkest corner, behind the big red acer. It will be painted blue and white, to match my benches, and because I generally think that wooden things look best in an English garden when they are painted blue and white. And when I change my mind I can paint it another colour.

In the opposite corner (next my new gates) I’m sticking in a new patio area and a pond.

And then last night, while sighing longingly over a £400 hammock on eBay, I had a stroke of genius: I don’t want no STEENKIN HAMMOCK taking up HALF MY GARDEN. No sir. What I want is a very simple and very strong box-shaped pergola over my new patio area. And I am then going to be able to put up a hammock and hammock chairs, and, if I wish, some shading, whenever I please. In fact I liked this idea so very much, I now intend to repeat it over the top patio as well, so I can hang my hammock wherever I please. I can have a dozen hammocks. I can invite everyone I know to come over and bring their own hammock.

In short, this idea is so genius, it’s almost like the invention of the wheel. Only better.

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About chiller

Rachel Coldbreath spent 20 years working internationally as a technical specialist on large data collections for law firms, before becoming disabled. She blogs on a variety of topics from the news and politics to gardening and how very annoying it is, being disabled. Habits include drilling holes about 1mm away from where they ought to be, and embarking with great enthusiasm on tasks for which she is neither physically nor intellectually equipped.
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2 Responses to Phenomenoo!

  1. John Arundel says:

    Shed!

    Also, hammocks!

    • chiller says:

      I know, right! It is going to be a very pretty shed though. But nonetheless a shed. With tools in it.

      I have always wanted a hammock. I’ve never even had a go in one.

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