(with apologies to @hammermartin)
I dislike daytime TV for a very specific reason. I only watch it when I am too ill to read, look at a computer, think, or move. The association I have with it is therefore pretty bleak.
However, I had it on this morning, and that awful “Fake Britain” programme has messed with my tiny little mind, which has responded to this by composing a song to the tune of “Funiculi Funicula” (you know the one).
“Fake things! Fake things!
Poke you in the eye!
Fake things! Fake things!
They might make you die –
it’s bad for me to wear this bra
to smoke this fag
to drive this caaar!
you go too far!”