The reason I can’t be left to watch daytime TV

(with apologies to @hammermartin)

I dislike daytime TV for a very specific reason. I only watch it when I am too ill to read, look at a computer, think, or move. The association I have with it is therefore pretty bleak.

However, I had it on this morning, and that awful “Fake Britain” programme has messed with my tiny little mind, which has responded to this by composing a song to the tune of “Funiculi Funicula” (you know the one).

“Fake things! Fake things!
Poke you in the eye!
Fake things! Fake things!
They might make you die –
it’s bad for me to wear this bra
to smoke this fag
to drive this caaar!
Copyright infringement
OMG
you go too far!”

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