I’m in the lap of the gods. And we all know how the gods love it, when they have someone’s life wriggling helplessly in their lap.

Today the final estimator waved me goodbye halfway through PMQs. I don’t want to give the impression that I spent much of the meeting thinking “fucksake, PMQs is on, can we wrap this up,” but frankly I’m tired and I get crabby when I’m tired, so although I smiled and was super nice, that’s exactly how I spent the meeting. And then it was done and we’d bonded (I’m really good with strangers, especially in a professional setting.) And as he left I pointed at him and said “remember: cheap. Or I’ll have the swans after you” (we’d been together for well over an hour – plenty of time to set up a running joke about swans), and off he went. I had two today, one yesterday, and one last week.  Estimators, I mean. Not swans. It’s been a bit er … a bit much.

Exciting. But also frightening.

I’ve gone from “I’m doing this without a loan” to “I’m going to have to have a loan” to “I’m going to have to have a loan AND I still won’t be able to afford all the stuff we’ve planned.”  But now, here I am. In the lap of the gods. Strangely calm.

I’ve been here eight months, now. In the house I refer to as “the Little House”. I love it so much, the idea of having to move out for a few months feels like when you leave a person you love. But it will be worth it.  I started this process about six weeks after I moved in. It took me a few weeks to find an architect, and then planning took ages, and now I find out on Friday what my impossible wishlist of stuff is likely to cost.

It was about an hour after he left that I realised how tired I was. I put on some PJs (pink fleece, unicorn) and sat there aimlessly for an hour, too tired to even make the decision to go to bed. And then I went to bed.








This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Works

  1. 2277Gabriel says:

    Good to see long-form chiller again

  2. Yes, indeed. It’s very good to see long-form chiller again. I wish she would write more and even publish her unpublished writings. Kind regards,

  3. bullinamingvase says:

    Gosh, didn’t even realise there was a long form chiller out there. But then I have come rather late to the party via chillerII on twitter. Good to hear the PMQ’s are dealing with the swan question.

  4. Oscar Franklin says:

    Chiller is all well? You’ve gone terribly quiet on twitter (and, erm, I miss you.) O

  5. It’s very good❤☝🏻

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s